Monday, December 15, 2008

Day 12 -- The Cocteau Twins, "Frosty the Snowman"

The Cocteau Twins -- "Frosty the Snowman"

I don't know what the lady twin from Cocteau Twins' voice actually sounds like, but, man, when she's singing, it's like the part of the movie where the kids just taught the alien/unfrozen caveman/Sasquatch to speak and then the lady at the store asked him a question and he's all "blurgh tOOOF-paste?" and so then they have to hurry him out of the store before they get caught. I mean, what in the blue blazes is a "traffic cAWWp"?

Otherwise, a pretty darn good version of this one song about a snowman who comes alive and lives for today and carpe diam and crap like that. Also, apparently, living for today is going to town and playing tag and then basically being burned to death by an unforgiving sun. Merry Christmas?

Steve's X-Mas-Factor Rating-O-Matic

Jingle-Jangle Annoyingness Factor (scientific measurement of things like the use of kazoos, animal sounds, or Karen Carpenter, and/or time spent discussing elves)

9 (out of 10) -- This version pretty much rules. It just lacks Jimmy Durante and a mincing magician with a weird hat obsession to be a per- ... on second thought, it's perfect as is.

Where's That Gift Receipt? Factor (rates whether one would actually listen to this song again)

10 (out of 10) -- Oh big time.

That's the Spirit Factor (rates how much the song actually has to do with Christmas)

6 (out of 10) -- Well, I'd posit that Frosty the Snowman actually has nothing whatsoever to do with Christmas, but who is Steve Carey to fight against the tides? I suppose it'd be weird to break this puppy out in February. So fine, Christmas is implied (Maybe the whole resurrection thing covers it? We're still waiting on you, Frosty!).

Total Score: 8.333
Christmas Present Equivalent: Nerf Bow and Arrow.

FrAHstee thaSnOHmAHHN


Pancake Master said...

It sounds like she says "traffic store" where every version I've ever heard says "traffic cop." What on earth is a Traffic Store?

So the bizarre pronunciations in female-sung versions of "Frosty The Snowman" continue...I'm reminded of the Ronettes' "FrWASTy The Snowman."

3john said...

nerf bow and arrow indeed!

Boorishly said...

I can't believe you think this song is 25 times better than the one where Han Solo gets ear muffs.