Sunny Cole -- "Santa to the Moon"
Man, what is with country singers and the need to put Santa in outer space? There is just no reason why any of these three things should ever be together at all. So, apparently, this song begins with the assumption that there are kids on the moon for some reason, and then elaborates upon how this creates a particular problem for the dude who has to cover ALL OF EARTH already.
Also, what is with this dude's voice getting all weird whenever he gets close to mentioning Rudolph? I think the dude's got beef with our red-nosed chum that could use further explanation. Oh well, because I have no idea who the hell Sunny Cole is, I doubt that explanation will soon be forthcoming.
Steve's X-Mas-Factor Rating-O-Matic
Jingle-Jangle Annoyingness Factor (scientific measurement of things like the use of kazoos, animal sounds, or Karen Carpenter, and/or time spent discussing elves)
5 (out of 10) -- No major issues here, but the crazy voice stuff really brings me out of the song. C'mon Sunny, I want to be there, with Santa, on his rocket ship, going to the, uh, moon. Oh nevermind.
Where's That Gift Receipt? Factor (rates whether one would actually listen to this song again)
6 (out of 10) -- At an economical minute and a half, it's hard for this song to really overstay its welcome.
That's the Spirit Factor (rates how much the song actually has to do with Christmas)
6 (out of 10) -- Well, we do have Santa, Rudolph and Christmas. What we don't have is any context to figure out why the hell people are living on the friggin' moon.
Total Score: 5.667
Christmas Present Equivalent: Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker
With a blast and a zoom!